Should I Get $500 a Month for My Free Spending While Planning Our Budget?

A Reddit user is trying to decide how she should manage her shared financial life with her husband.  While she is planning on letting him manage most of their money, she wants $500 per month to spend on whatever she wants without question.

Is her request reasonable, and are her plans for managing her money good ones?

Having separate money to spend is smart for couples

It’s a good idea, in general, for each person in a marriage to have some autonomy when it comes to money to avoid everything becoming a conflict.  The only question is how much is appropriate, and the poster here is clearly not being unreasonable at all in wanting $500 of her own to do what she wants with each month. 

She explained that she and her husband have been married for four years, and this is a second marriage for both of them. Both spouses are 58, and they plan to work until 65. Their house will be paid off in seven years, and they have a combined income of $180,000. They also have no debt, $2 million in retirement investments, and are on track to inherit a combined $200K when both of their parents pass away. 

The reason that she wants the $500 in free money to spend each month is that her husband is “a little controlling” when it comes to their money. She said he has expensive tastes, and while she trusts him and is easy-going with finances, he’s a “tad bit selfish and a little wasteful.” Despite these flaws, she’s willing to let him decide what the couple should do with all of their money — but she just wants her $500 per month to do whatever she wants with.

Given the couple’s income and the fact that they are already on track for a pretty secure retirement, being able to spend that much per month for herself should not be a problem at all, as numerous posters said. After all, the couple has $15K a month in pre-tax income and no debt except an affordable mortgage. A total of $500 is only around 3.3% of all the money the couple would have each month. 

Is the Reddit poster making good choices when it comes to money management?

While the poster’s request for $500 per month is not unreasonable,  the couple seems to have some bigger money issues to work out. Several commenters stressed the importance of being open about money in a marriage, and others pointed out that her husband shouldn’t just get to do whatever he wants while she is stuck with an allowance — they both should agree on a budget and should get the same amount of free money to spend while deciding together where the rest of their dollars should go.

Many posters also questioned why she would give her husband complete control over their shared finances, especially if he can be selfish. Other Redditors urged her to protect her own financial interests, which is good advice, rather than trusting someone else to take care of everything.

Ultimately, the couple would likely benefit from getting professional help on these issues. A financial advisor could work with them to find a way to manage money that makes sense for both of them and protects both their interests, while ensuring they each get to spend on the things they value as they work towards accomplishing their goals for a shared future.

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