I have enough money coming to buy a house and pay for college at 19 – should I help my struggling family instead?

It’s unfortunate that as soon as the subject of an inheritance comes up around family, it can be incredibly problematic. The truth is that there are far more stories of families fighting about inheritance money than there are about everyone being thrilled to receive a windfall and a chance at a better life. One Redditor […] The post I have enough money coming to buy a house and pay for college at 19 – should I help my struggling family instead? appeared first on 24/7 Wall St..

May 14, 2025 - 15:52

I have enough money coming to buy a house and pay for college at 19 – should I help my struggling family instead?

It’s unfortunate that as soon as the subject of an inheritance comes up around family, it can be incredibly problematic. The truth is that there are far more stories of families fighting about inheritance money than there are about everyone being thrilled to receive a windfall and a chance at a better life.

Key Points

This is a unique situation in which a Redditor has received an inheritance but has not been able to access it for two years.
Unfortunately, the family is already guilt-tripping the inheritor into taking care of their kid’s education.
No matter what happens in this situation, someone will come out unhappy.
Inheritance planning is one of the most difficult, and important financial decisions families make. Make sure you’re on the right track by connecting with a financial advisor today. They can help you understand all of the factors and ensure your portfolio is set up for generations to come. A call only takes 5 minutes, you can get started here now.

One Redditor recently learned that his now-deceased father had set up a trust with a life-changing amount of money. While the exact amount is not specified, the Redditor explains in a post on r/AmItheAsshole that there is enough to buy a home, pay for college, and still have plenty of money left over.

Of course, now that the Redditor’s mother and stepfather have learned about the money, there is a lot of pressure to share it with family, including the original poster’s step-siblings.

The Inheritance

At 17 years old, the original poster discovered that he had received a sizable trust after his father’s death. After two uncles passed away, his father was able to set aside a significant sum, which he explained in a letter to his son before his passing.

When the father found out he had cancer, he set up the trust for his son, ensuring that his son would receive every penny remaining after all medical bills were paid. Since he had been divorced from the original poster’s mother for over 10 years and was an only child himself, the original poster is set to inherit everything.

Unsurprisingly, there is a caveat here as the original poster’s mother wants to be at the trust reading. After learning about the trust, the mother immediately begins pressuring the original poster to help everyone. She wants to make sure she and her new husband are provided for, and they also want to use this money to set up college funds for his step-siblings.

Of course, when the Redditor refuses, the guilt trips begin, along with anger over his unwillingness to help those who provided for him, and other typical insults. This leads directly to the question of whether or not this Redditor is in the wrong about not sharing the money.

To Help Or Not To Help

No matter what the original poster does in this situation, both sides will have anger and resentment. If he helps his family and shares the inheritance, he will feel guilty, and his animosity with the family will likely carry through forever.

On the other hand, if he doesn’t share the money, he will face guilt trips about everyone else suffering while he enjoys financial security.

The family has already tried to guilt him by saying he should share with his siblings, and everyone deserves a chance at this money.

Thankfully, the Redditor is sticking to his gut reaction so far and saying no. Honestly, he needs to move out of this house first. Whether by renting a place as soon as he turns 18 or finding another family member to stay with, he needs to leave this home situation as quickly as possible.

This is a really tough call as it can be challenging to decide whether to help family, but the father left this money to the son and no one else. Once the trust becomes accessible to the beneficiary, which depends on the specific terms of the trust and state law, the next step should be to set up a time with a financial advisor and plan how to handle the money moving forward, so it grows.

Talk to a Financial Advisor

For now, the Redditor must take the guilt trips that come his way. However, as soon as it is, he needs to talk with a financial advisor and start investing immediately. In addition, he needs to ensure he has a copy of his birth certificate, a driver’s license, and any other forms of identification.

Additionally, he should closely monitor his credit, as situations like this can lead to a parent or stepparent taking out a credit card in his name and accumulating debt without any intention of paying it off.

The post I have enough money coming to buy a house and pay for college at 19 – should I help my struggling family instead? appeared first on 24/7 Wall St..