How I’m Navigating the Awkwardness of Telling Friends I’m Retiring Soon – Here’s My Dilemma

One of the toughest realities most people face is being in a different financial position than those around them. In many ways, it’s hard to hide if you are doing better than others, and there is a definite fear of creating resentment or jealousy if someone finds out what you have. 

In a post on r/Fire, one Redditor expressed concern that she and her husband are in a position where they have a sizable nest egg and plan to retire in five years. However, this puts them on track to retire well before any of their friends, so they fear what people might think.

Understandably, they hope their friends will be welcoming, but when some family members discover money floating around, they might come asking for help. This is a completely understandable concern. 

The Situation 

As this post is in r/Fire, it’s possible to imagine the level of comfort this couple feels, likely in the low millions. This would sufficiently meet the criteria of a comfortable nest egg and allow them to start thinking about when to leave the workforce for good. 

It’s also unfortunate that the original poster is so worried about family coming around asking for money and then feeling guilty for saying no. The challenge is that if the family isn’t already responsible with money, lending them more money will only lead to more requests and denials. 

The good news is the Redditor already works from home, so suddenly being home all day isn’t going to be a real surprise. Of course, this means that with a family living a mile away, the Redditor might feel enough guilt to offer to help with errands, babysitting, etc., leading to questions about why she suddenly has so much free time. 

Even if the friends take the news well on the outside, there is always the possibility that they could feel resentment or that you should be picking up the tab more or hosting more, so telling anyone could be problematic. 

Don’t Tell Anyone

While it might feel painful not to tell anyone for fear of what they might think, it’s probably the best case scenario. Living a lie won’t be fun, but the alternative of having to fight with family and potentially having friends view you differently isn’t worth the weight off your shoulders of telling the truth. 

Keeping up the lie with working from home should make it easy to keep up appearances for quite a while, potentially for the foreseeable future, so it won’t be too difficult. However, if you meet someone new and they ask what this Redditor does for work, shifting your answer to “consulting” might be more ideal than saying “retired.” 

Shifting to a consulting opportunity might be ideal anyway, as it’s something that you can do on your own time. This could even keep you employed long enough to keep earning while significantly reducing stress levels. 

It Won’t Be Easy

Redditors in the comments will tell you to wear this retirement badge with pride. This is something to consider, and they believe that whatever anyone says or thinks isn’t in your control, so say you did well with savings and move on. 

If someone comes to you with a hat in hand, asking for money, then you know the type of person they are, and the Redditor might want to consider cutting them off for the time being. There is a chance that admitting to having money, as we have seen so many times with new lottery winners, could cause a disruption in the family, and if this is the case, it’s better to find out now than later. 

The faster this Redditor can remove the people who will only bring her and her spouse down, the better, and then the awkwardness will disappear completely.

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