It’s Been 3 Years And I Still Can’t Get Dad’s 401(k), Is It Time To Give Up?

Losing a parent is a gut punch, but having to claw your way through red tape to claim what they left behind? That’s a hassle nobody needs. 

Yet that’s just where a Redditor on the r/personalfinance subreddit found himself. His dad died years back after a divorce and left a 401(k) at Vanguard. Now he’s battling to get it. Vanguard is still sending update letters about the account, but calling the office and trying to set up online access have been blocked at every turn. 

The Redditor is sure his father would want him to have the money in the account, but with no clue on the balance, he’s not even sure he should hire someone for help. At wit’s end, he’s wondering whether he should just give up.

Now, I’m not a financial planner or tax professional, so these are just my opinions, but this still seems like a winnable situation, one that should also provide a wake-up call for everyone else.

Failing to plan is planning to fail

First, there is a path forward. Those letters mean there is money there, and it’s probably been growing for two decades. With dad’s Social Security number, plan number, the Redditor’s birth certificate, and the father’s death certificate, there is plenty of ammo to use. 

If there is no death certificate, a copy can be obtained from a state’s vital records office for a small fee. If the father listed them as a beneficiary, it should be a matter that is quickly resolved. If not, they can check the will. If that’s still a no-go, then it will have to go through probate, a hurdle, to be sure, but not insurmountable.

Also, skip calling the customer service number. Contact the local office instead and book a visit. Bring all the paperwork and in a face-to-face meeting, demand the money and a claim form. 

Small accounts might be able to slide through with little more than an affidavit. An attorney can be expensive, and be a waste of money if the account is small, but if the balance is substantial, it could be money well spent. Size up the account first, then decide.

What you should do now

The whole process, though, could’ve been smoother had dad named him as beneficiary. He would be cashing checks, not chasing ghosts. Because 401(k)s let you list heirs, make sure you and your loved ones have completed the beneficiary designation forms on all your accounts. It’s simple and skips probate. Plan ahead, or you’re stuck.

It also highlights the importance of having a will. You can spell out exactly who gets what assets and leaves no second-guessing about what dad really wanted.

Having “the talk”

That’s the real lesson here: talk it out. The Redditor is guessing his dad wanted his children to have the money in the account. Maybe he did, maybe not. They can’t ask now. 

So, sit down with your folks and start the inheritance chat. It’s an awkward one to have as nobody likes picturing the end, but it beats being stuck in limbo. Bring in a financial advisor and estate attorney as a crew for everyone to meet. They will be able to help map who gets what without any surprises. 

For the Redditor, he should keep pushing. Visit the local office with docs in hand and be ready to make his case. If the plan administrator balks, it may be necessary to call in a lawyer to lean on them. The worst case scenario is it’s a bust, but at least he will know. Best case, it’s a lifeline that can bring closure to a loved one’s passing.

Key takeaway

Don’t let this be you. Americans juggle big debts like cars and homes, but estate flubs hit differently. A 401(k) shouldn’t be a riddle. Name your heirs, write a will, and talk it through with family ahead of time. This person’s slog is a warning — plan smart, or your kids are the next ones waiting on hold.

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