I’m 17 and stand to inherit a massive trust from my late dad – am I selfish to keep it all for myself?

The Brady Bunch was a 1970’s sitcom that was one of the first to highlight the awkward situations that arise from blended families, i.e., families joined by marriage to create step siblings without any blood relations. The show lasted for 5 seasons and a revival movie in 1995. Few people during the 1970s would have anticipated the rapid escalation rate of divorce in ensuing decades and the proliferation of stepfamilies that have since become commonplace. 

When a divorced parent passes away early and leaves an inheritance to a sole child, matters can become complex when the surviving parent has remarried and there are step siblings from the new partner’s prior marriage, especially if they have financial issues.

Am I Being Selfish?

A 17-year old sadly found out 10 years after his father had died from cancer at a relatively young age that the father had left him a substantial trust fund. The lawyers explained that they were serving as trustees and were instructed to inform him the year before he turned 18.  His parents, who were separated at the time of the father’s passing and in the process of a divorce, had already ceased living together when the son was still in kindergarten. The mother, who has since remarried, insisted on accompanying the son to speak with the lawyers when he was notified. 

After the lawyer meeting, the mother insisted that her son should share the inheritance with his step-siblings, i.e., her new husband’s previous children. The son posted on Reddit to explain his feelings on the matter and to ask for advice. He outlined the details of his situation as follows:

• The late father had inherited large sums from both his own parents, as well as from two wealthy uncles.
• When his cancer was diagnosed as incurable, the father was already separated and in divorce proceedings with the poster’s mother, having not lived together already for several years. 
• As his son was his only blood heir, the father set aside medical and funeral expense funds and then transferred the bulk of his accumulated wealth into a trust, exclusively for the poster to access at age 19. 
• The lawyers were instructed to notify the son shortly before he turned 18 so that he could make plans for how he would want to manage the inheritance.
• Mother and stepfather insist that the poster should share the inheritance to pay for college tuition for the stepfather’s children (aged 14, 8, and 7) from his previous marriage before he became a widower. The poster’s mother started dating him 6 years ago, when he was age 11.
• The stepfamily has had financial struggles due to psychological and medical bills for the oldest and youngest stepsiblings, respectively. 
• An inheritance that is sizable enough for the poster to buy a new house and attend college and have some money leftover is the issue that has triggered pressure from the poster’s mother and stepfather.
• As a minor, the poster is still living with his stepfamily. 
• At present, the poster has resisted the pressure to share the inheritance, and he cannot access it until age 19 anyway, so he still has 2 years to go.

100% Unanimous Sentiments and Advice

The many respondents were unanimous in their concurrence with the poster’s decision. They especially decried the attempts to use guilt tactics and other types of pressure against him, and pointed out a number of objective conclusions to support his contention:

• As the father did not set aside separate child support money in the trust, he likely did not trust his soon-to-be-ex wife to responsibly manage funds on his son’s behalf, hence the need to establish the trust.
• The mother very likely received substantial Social Security survivor’s benefits, which supported her and the poster during his adolescence until she remarried.
• The stepfather, also a widower, may have been receiving survivor’s benefits as well for his own children.
• If the father was still alive, the stepfather would never request for him to pay for his children’s college, so demanding it after his death from the poster was unethical. 
• A number of respondents advised the poster to privately contact the lawyers and explain the situation to see if the trustees could advance funds to him so he could move out and away from the pressure from the mother and stepfather.
• One respondent suggested that the poster could pay a concessionary sum of perhaps $20,000 for his own expenses since the time he was living under the same roof, but that no other funds should be expected, except at the poster’s discretion.
• Other blended families insisted that they have strict rules that keep inheritances completely separate from any other step-family matters in order to avoid precisely the scenario faced by the poster.

It does not appear that there is much love lost between the poster and his stepfather and stepsiblings. The primary pressure appears to be from the mother, who is being influenced by her current husband, and the respondents were 100% in accord with that assessment. 

This article is meant solely for informational purposes. An estate finance professional should be consulted if more in-depth advice is required. 

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