How Do I Explain My Financial Independence While Dating in My 20s?

It’s not all too often to find a 20-something-year-old retiree on the dating scene, especially given macro headwinds, persistent inflation, and considerable sums of student loan debt weighing down many of today’s young people. In any case, I recently stumbled upon a Reddit user who took to the r/Fire (a subreddit for those seeking to join a movement that aims to achieve financial independence and early retirement) who is wondering how they can explain to a potential date that they’re already retired.

Indeed, as most others begin their journeys, this Reddit user is already well past the finish line. It’s a remarkable feat and one that I believe commands a considerable amount of respect. However, it’s not hard to imagine that some may find it just a bit taboo to leave the workforce at such an absurdly young age. As such, an early retiree may wish to prepare for that all-too-common “so, what do you do?” question on the first or second date.

Indeed, there’s more than one way to go about answering such a question, perhaps in a way that doesn’t involve a great deal of shock. Either way, it’s better to be honest upfront rather than run into hurdles at some point down the road.

Be honest and upfront.

As impressive as it is to have achieved a sizeable enough nest egg to retire on in one’s 20s, some may be inclined to think that those who join the FIRE movement are “giving up” early. Of course, your mileage is probably going to vary based on the individual. At the end of the day, not everybody is a fan of early retirement, including those who may already have more than enough to live the rest of their lives without having to think about work.

Indeed, to such ambitious folks, it’s all about making more, raising the bar, giving into lifestyle creep (which entails upgrading one’s lifestyle expenses in accordance with increases in income), and not being content with what one may already have. Indeed, as a very young early retiree, it’s your job to find someone whose values align with yours. If you’re going up against someone who could retire but chooses not to, there may be a bit of a conflict. And it may not sit well with such an individual who may look down upon someone who they believe is “sitting around all day doing nothing.”

On the flip side, a more family-oriented individual may find it respectable that one prioritizes their own well-being over taking a more traditional path to retirement. At the end of the day, there’s really no magical script that an early retiree should read off as they go on a date. It’s best to be honest right off the bat than run the risk of steering into a relationship that won’t work due to differences in goals, aspirations, and all the sort.

Bring the focus to portfolio management.

Managing one’s own portfolio can be a job in itself. As such, it can be a good idea to shift focus towards managing a portfolio of stocks and other assets so that one can maintain their “growth” mindset. Indeed, some retirees simply spend down their nest eggs (think the 4% rule), while others continue to grow their wealth.

For this Reddit user, who manages their own stocks, it can be a good idea to shed light on their investment strategy (perhaps a Warren Buffett-esque value approach or a Boglehead set-and-forget strategy involving index ETFs) and how it’s allowed them to hit their FIRE number early on. It’s an impressive feat, to say the least. And shines a bright light on the power of compounding. After all, who doesn’t want a savvy investor as a partner?

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