He wants us to use his fortune before he’s gone – why do we still struggle to pull money from the family fund?

It’s not out of the ordinary for parents to want to live to see how financial gifts are put to work. Indeed, it can be quite rewarding to see how one’s wealth can enrich the lives of loved ones firsthand. And though spending down an entire inheritance is probably not the best move, especially if heirs are deep in debt or struggling to hit retirement milestones, I do think that a request to spend a “family fund” that’s outside of an inheritance (but to be pooled with it if not spent while the giver is still alive) isn’t at all an outlandish request. Arguably, such requests should be fulfilled. Otherwise, the giver may very well decide to put it towards something else!

In this piece, we’ll check in on the case of a Reddit user and family man in their 40s who’s reluctant to spend down a family fund built by their father. The fund was meant for enjoyment, experiences, and other discretionary expenses. And the father wants it to be spent before they’re gone. Personally, I’m not sure what the deal is with not spending down the family fund, especially since the rest of their financial situation is pretty good.

When it’s right to spend the money on fun and experiences

The fund, now worth hundreds of thousands, can go a pretty long way in funding a retirement or a down payment on a sizeable home. And while spending the entirety of the sum on travel and experiences may not be the most responsible use of such a massive nest egg, I do think that the requests of the father must be respected. Sure, someone who’s grown up knowing the value of the dollar may feel pained in spending such money on experiences.

That said, if the father started the family fund for a specific purpose and he doesn’t want it to be invested, I think the fund should be used the way it was intended, especially since it seems like there’s a fatter inheritance that would cover various other endeavors, including retirement.

If there was no inheritance or it was rather slim, we’d have a different story. Either way, this isn’t the case for the Reddit user. And I’d encourage them to listen to the top Reddit commenter who suggested they go on a vacation or adventure with the father and the rest of the family — it really is that simple! And while spending a six-figure sum may prove difficult, one should budget a generous amount in any given year, as the fortune was spent the way the father wanted. At the end of the day, there’s no shame in spending money for a change, especially if it’s the money of a parent who values experiences above all else.

What if one’s not keen on spending it?

If the Reddit user is keen on saving or investing the sum, some conversations need to be had. In any case, it’s not too out of the ordinary for a lifelong saver and investor who’s seldom taken a vacation to feel reluctant to spend money on wants. Perhaps a financial advisor and family therapist can be consulted so that both sides can agree upon terms. Whether that entails spending a big chunk and investing the rest in the S&P 500 will be up for debate.

Either way, I don’t think the dilemma faced by our Reddit user makes a whole lot of sense. They’re posting in r/fatFIRE, so they’re undoubtedly well-off with more riches on the way. Perhaps their fear of spending money should be addressed so that one can make the moves that lead to the least regrets.

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