After 3 years of retirement, I’m learning money isn’t enough – here’s what actually made retirement feel fulfilling

One of the many things that people learn after retirement is that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Whether you retire early or exactly at 67 years old, there is no guarantee that the moment you retire, all of your stresses will simply lift from your shoulders. 

This is precisely the scenario one Redditor posting in r/fatFIRE is learning firsthand, having retired over three and a half years ago. Having been retired, there is some pretty clear thinking about what is most important in life, and, surprise, it isn’t always about the money. 

Early Retirement Observations

Having retired around 3.5 years ago and living as a member of the fatFIRE club for the last 2.5 years, this Redditor should be living the good life. Making his money through a successful tech startup, this Redditor believes he is in a unique position to talk about some of the most important things he is noticing, including mental health, community, and family. 

Mental Health

After working on a startup for more than 9 years, this Redditor decided enough was enough and saw the writing on the wall. Wanting to spend time with younger children, they were able to find a replacement for themselves in the business and walk away. 

Initially, there was a belief that there would be this immediate sense of relief. Even if this sense wasn’t immediate, the Redditor believed they would start to feel refreshed after a few months. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen, and after a year of not feeling renewed, they knew they needed to take the next step. 

As a result, they found someone they could talk to, which was a great step forward in learning to process a mix of feelings. Everything, from success in business to finding meaning in life after retirement, was on the table for discussion. Admittedly, the Redditor acknowledges that this is still a work in progress. Finding a therapist was undoubtedly one of the best decisions the Redditor has recently made. 

Sense of Community

Having retired, it’s not always easy to stay friends with co-founders or colleagues, as this life might feel like an eternity ago. After spending 10-12 hours with these people day in and day out for years, it’s understandable that there is a sense of both absence and loss.

To help navigate these new waters, the Redditor turned to reinforcing their existing friendships while also building new ones. Fortunately, his wife is already social and actively involved in the community, but as an introverted person, there is still a sense of anxiety in trying to be even more social.

What he realized is that the people he values most are the ones who knew him and his wife before money. This is hardly surprising, as it’s something wealthy people tend to say, and it’s why many people are hesitant to discuss money openly. Some of their closest friends are teachers or doctors in rural communities, where the salaries are far lower.

What he realized is that trying to fill a void within himself with a sports car or an expensive watch wouldn’t accomplish that and would be misinterpreted by the people he values most. The big takeaway is that it’s invigorating for him to spend time with the “normal” people in his life. 

Grounded by Family 

The best part of this Redditor’s story and a lesson for other Redditors in similar positions is to jump in headfirst with family. He values the extra time spent with his kids, even if being home more means taking on added responsibility. 

This has led the Redditor to explore self-growth books, as well as focusing on how to avoid overparenting. This is yet another lesson for people in the same situation: not to try to replace colleagues with children. He also knows that he wants to make sure his kids understand the privilege they have because of the money their father earned.

Unsurprisingly, this is another great takeaway, as he wants to help raise his children not just to value money, but to appreciate it enough to want to pass it on to future generations. This includes being more involved in charitable giving, so that less fortunate people also have an opportunity to improve their lives. 

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