My father’s will leaves everything to my estranged brother and me – how do I keep the peace as the executor?

Surprisingly, one of the most challenging aspects of dealing with a death in the family isn’t the death itself, it’s whatever the deceased left to the family. Battles over inheritances are the stuff of legend, and in many cases, they can break once-tight families completely apart. 

Unfortunately, this happens, but this is the case with one Redditor who posted in r/inheritance. In their situation, the father passed away, leaving the Redditor as the executor but splitting the assets 50/50 between the original poster and his brother. 

As you might suspect, the two brothers haven’t spoken for a while, and there is no interest in them speaking even now, so this definitely has the chance to explode into something bigger. 

The Inheritance

When the father passed away, he left his two sons his entire estate, with the Redditor named as the executor, while splitting the assets down the middle with his brother, who is 34. At the time of the Reddit post, the two brothers had not been in contact for some time, and there wasn’t much interest in re-engagement. 

As a result, the Redditor already hired a lawyer to handle probate and any assets that might require probate. Given the situation, the Redditor is trying to maintain the peace and wants to alert his brother of any financial institutions where his portion of the assets would be available. He’s unsure if he should be doing that through a lawyer or certified mail or if a bank will reach out once they are alerted of the father’s death. 

In this situation, the Redditor was hoping for advice from anyone in the same situation who has had no contact and could maintain the peace. There is no question that this brother wants to be honest with his sibling, even if they aren’t speaking, and he especially doesn’t want any headaches while grieving. 

What Are The Next Steps? 

Unsurprisingly, everyone on Redditor is suddenly a professional job of whatever title is most necessary in the comment section, and this post is no exception. Thankfully, in this case, the Redditor does receive plenty of good advice, which resulted in him learning from others in the same situation. 

Ultimately, the best course of action was to send a letter to the brother with two death certificates and any shared account numbers for accounts where the brother is the current beneficiary. However, to help ensure smoother proceedings, the Redditor gave his brother the name of the lawyer he hired in case of any questions and to maintain their current streak of no contact. 

In addition, and likely, the smartest and most recommended move the Redditor could make was to open up a PO box for the return address on the certified letter. The Redditor informed his brother that the lawyer should be the best point of contact if there were any additional questions. 

Will this keep the peace? It’s hard to say, but it’s not only the most mature move but also the smartest one so that everything the brother does looks like it was done in the other brother’s best interest. This means there is a slim chance of blowback where the other brother could come back and argue that his brother, as the executor, was playing dirty in some capacity. 

Let The Lawyers Win

It’s a disappointing place to be with family, but as the brother already appears to feel that he will get cheated out of money, having the lawyer handle everything reduces any chance something can be twisted out of context. 

Yes, the lawyer will cost around $400 an hour, according to the Redditor, but the potential for even more money to be spent in the case of a legal battle with the brother could and would be far more expensive. 

The good news is that lawyers deal with this kind of thing every day, and they know when someone is just playing the fool and when they have actually been cheated out of something. So, this Redditor should rest assured that everything will work out as it should. 

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