Dave Ramsey helped us figure out how to stop financially supporting our extended family – this is how we did it

Finances and family don’t always mix well, especially when siblings constantly ask for financial support. A couple found themselves in this predicament and called into “The Ramsey Show” for advice.

She spoke with the co-hosts about her husband’s family. He immigrated to America and came as an adult for school. While they are perfectly fine with paying for the mother’s expenses back in South America, the husband also has four older siblings who want help with their expenses.

The couple has been married for three years and remain committed to each other, but a rift between the couple and the siblings is emerging. The couple wants to lay down the law and say that they aren’t paying for their living expenses anymore, but it’s harder to make this type of move since family members are involved. The co-hosts offered suggestions on how to approach the matter.

The Couple Is In Agreement

One of the co-hosts mentioned that it is a norm for immigrants to send some money back to their South American relatives. He asked the wife if the husband was also on the same page, and she said yes.

The couple had a blowout with the family in the New Year about money, and the husband is on board with not supporting the siblings. Although it’s normal for immigrants to send money back to relatives in their native countries, supporting an older parent is much different from supporting four older siblings who can find work or immigrate to the country.

Interestingly, the wife has tried to be more patient, and part of that is due to the fact that she is an only child. However, the couple is adamant about selling the siblings to be self-sustaining.

Give An Ultimatum

One compromise that came up on the show was for the couple to lay down the terms and limit how much they give. They can issue an ultimatum that makes it clear that they won’t give any extra.

“We’re going to agree on a number, and we’re not going to fight about it anymore,” one of the co-hosts suggested. If the couple follows that approach in their next conversation with the siblings, it can quickly set the tone for future expectations.

The wife will have to support her husband during the ups and downs of this experience. Although it’s good to make the siblings self-reliant, it can cause friction in the relationship if you take away ‘their’ money. However, one of The Ramsey Show co-hosts dropped this gem that puts everything into perspective.

“If a relationship is hinging on a paycheck, then there was no relationship.”

Prioritize Your Financial Future

The older siblings are taking advantage of the youngest in the family, but the couple can stop it at any time. While you can hope for the best when it comes to siblings, you have to save money and accumulate wealth so you can achieve your financial goals.

The co-hosts encouraged the couple to focus on building a sustainable financial life for themselves. If you do that first, you will have more flexibility with how much you give later. However, the older siblings should become financially independent. They shouldn’t be receiving money just because of the notion of being part of a family. Some of our enemies are the people who are closest to us, and it sounds like the family, excluding the mother, has been taking advantage of the couple for too long.

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