Her dad gave her a six-figure down payment, and I’m still paying half the bills – am I being taken advantage of?

A Reddit user is in a different financial place from his girlfriend thanks to their disparate levels of family wealth, and it’s causing him financial problems as well as issues in the relationship. 

The Redditor’s girlfriend received $100,000 from her father as a down payment, which she used to purchase a home that was pricier than was realistic for the poster’s finances. The poster had no say in the purchase, but he’s being expected to pay rent and he invested $7K of his money in things like a fridge, washer dryer, and half the cost of A/C installation. 

Now, his girlfriend inherited $200K, was told by her father she’ll be getting millions, and she wants to upgrade their spending even more by buying things like more sustainable products. The Redditor is concerned about how this could impact his finances and is wondering if it’s fair. 

Splitting costs equally isn’t always equitable

It seems pretty clear in this situation that the way the Redditor is being treated is not fair. His girlfriend purchased a pricey house without his input and while she’s building equity with each mortgage payment, he’s just spending more on housing than he wanted to by paying her a large amount of rent each month. He’s also invested money in her house with no ownership stake that he won’t get back if they break up. 

These would be problems even if there wasn’t the additional issue associated with her inheritance and family wealth. The Redditor poster did not receive $200K, he won’t receive millions, and he is not in a financial position to spend the way that his girlfriend can. Splitting things 50/50 isn’t fair when there is such a big disparity in financial circumstances and the person with more money is pressuring the person with less to live an unaffordable lifestyle. 

What should the couple do? 

The best thing for the couple to do would be to talk with a financial advisor who can help them figure out a good way to split expenses.  

For example, it’s right for the poster to pay something to live in the home, but that amount should not be half both because he doesn’t get the benefit of building equity and because he didn’t want such an expensive house. It might be much more fair, for example, for him to just pay the amount he was paying in rent before they moved into the home. Or, they might come to an arrangement where he pays utilities and she covers the mortgage payment. 

The poster also should not make any more purchases for the house unless he is added to the deed and mortgage and becomes a co-owner. And, if his girlfriend wants to buy pricier items because of her inheritance, she should pick up the difference in cost. 

The couple will also have to talk about how they plan to handle money long-term given the fact that the girlfriend eventually stands to inherit a lot of money. This could become a source of conflict that damages their relationship if they don’t address this issue sooner rather than later, and a financial advisor can help them talk through their options and make a plan for a shared financial life that makes sense for both of them. 

The post Her dad gave her a six-figure down payment, and I’m still paying half the bills – am I being taken advantage of? appeared first on 24/7 Wall St..