Dealing with long-time friends that only reach out when they need something from me?

I get this quite often. The most recent situation happened today. A friend of 15 years asked me for a favour. We used to be close but over the years we grew out of our shared interests. Nowadays, we're seeing one another no more than 2 times a year (usually at our birthday parties). I have no problem with helping friends and people in general but I also hate the feeling I get when a person contacts me once a year for the sole purpose of getting something from me. I want to help her out since I still kind of like her as a friend but I also want to make it clear that I'm not cool with the fact that our only yearly interaction is centered around me doing stuff for her. Again, this is not the first time I'm experiencing this kind of situation. I've had this happen to me with multiple people. I've never declined to help them and also never said anything that would suggest I'm not cool with it - I need that to change. So, how do I tell them that I'm not okay with the fact that they only contact me when they need me? TL;DR Some long-time friends only contact me to ask for favours. I want to help them but I also want to let them know that I'm not ok with it.

Feb 2, 2025 - 11:25

I get this quite often. The most recent situation happened today. A friend of 15 years asked me for a favour. We used to be close but over the years we grew out of our shared interests. Nowadays, we're seeing one another no more than 2 times a year (usually at our birthday parties). I have no problem with helping friends and people in general but I also hate the feeling I get when a person contacts me once a year for the sole purpose of getting something from me.

I want to help her out since I still kind of like her as a friend but I also want to make it clear that I'm not cool with the fact that our only yearly interaction is centered around me doing stuff for her.

Again, this is not the first time I'm experiencing this kind of situation. I've had this happen to me with multiple people. I've never declined to help them and also never said anything that would suggest I'm not cool with it - I need that to change.

So, how do I tell them that I'm not okay with the fact that they only contact me when they need me?