Shark Tank legend Barbara Corcoran says this is “the difference between successful people and others”

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced some sort of setback in life. A friend of mine, for example, spent $80,000 on grad school only to realize he didn’t want to go into that field. That meant that by his late 20s, he was deep in debt and no closer to furthering his career.

Another friend of mine got divorced in her early 30s and had to sell her home at a time when the market was down. She and her former spouse took a $75,000 loss on that home. And they both had to make serious lifestyle cuts following their split to pick up the financial pieces.

And don’t get me started on the number of friends I know who have lost their jobs for various reasons — mostly downsizing and reorganizations, but in one case, it boiled to a personality clash with a new boss.

But while setbacks may be inevitable in life, it’s important to have the right attitude when they happen. And that, says Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran, is the key to moving on and emerging even stronger.

How to deal with setbacks

Barbara Corcoran once famously said, “The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend time feeling sorry for themselves.” And I happen to love that sentiment.

What Corcoran is saying is that successful people are the ones who tend to move on quickly from unfortunate events, while others might harp on them and let themselves be victims.

To be clear, I think it’s perfectly okay to take some time to regroup after a setback. When a friend of mine lost his job recently, he took a month off to reset. And I think that was actually a healthy thing to do, since he had been severely burned out before his company implemented layoffs.

But I also know people who do tend to wallow for a long time when they could be taking active steps to move forward from setbacks. And I think it’s worth adopting Corcoran’s sage advice the next time something bad happens to you.

Practicing what Corcoran preaches

The reason I’m a fan of Corcoran’s advice is that I’ve been in situations myself where things haven’t gone my way. I’ve actually been laid off from a job through no fault of my own not once, but twice. And while I didn’t particularly like the jobs I was dismissed from, each layoff still hurt my pride as well as my wallet, at least initially.

But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I took action each time I lost a job. I got out there, I networked, I boosted my skills, and I made sure I was willing to try new things.

Another friend of mine, by contrast, lost his job three years ago and has been bouncing around in the gig economy since. In the absence of a steady paycheck, he can’t afford to buy a home even though he hates renting. And while I don’t know what his savings account balance looks like, based on conversations we’ve had, I wouldn’t be shocked if he has $5,000 in the bank or less despite being almost 40.

The reason this friend is in such bad shape is that he’s still bitter about his layoff — even though a pretty long time has passed since it happened. And he’d rather walk around like a victim than take steps to secure a better role than the one he had.

Obviously, we’re all wired a certain way, and it can be hard to change our manner of thinking. But the next time you experience a setback, I highly suggest you take Corcoran’s advice to heart. It could spell the difference between you emerging successfully versus getting stuck in an extended rut.

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