I Want to Retire at 50, But My Wife, 46, Wants to Keep Working – What Should I Do?

As soon as one person in a relationship wants to retire, there is an immediate need to talk it over with your spouse or partner. If you’re a single individual, this decision is entirely yours to make, but no question, walking away from a solid income and retiring early is a family-based decision. 

This is precisely the scenario one Redditor posting in r/Fire is going through as he is ready to walk away from the workforce, but his wife doesn’t necessarily agree. It’s a challenging position to be in, as everyone wants to escape the corporate rat race as soon as possible, but not at the expense of family drama. 

Wanting to Retire

In this scenario, the original poster is a 50-year-old former military member who left his career at 47 to join a telecom company. He acknowledges that the job is well-paying and that he works from home, so there are some definite benefits. 

He also outlines that between his military pension, rental house income, and dividends, they have more than enough money to meet their monthly needs, and even have an extra $2,000 available as “free” money. This is something he’s been tracking for the last 12 months, so there is a level of confidence about their spending habits that’s helping him feel confident about walking away from the telecom company. 

Unfortunately, his wife, an OR nurse who loves her job and isn’t really open to stepping away, is pretty adamant about her husband not retiring. With both a 16-year-old and a 10-year-old at home, he wants to be more of a stay-at-home dad before the kids leave the nest, but his wife seems concerned about losing this income when they can only really travel during school holidays. 

More Relationship Questions, Less Fire

Given the subreddit this is posted in on Reddit, it definitely seems less like a FIRE issue and more like something specific to their relationship. While they have no debt, and health insurance is covered through his military pension, there is a definite financial argument in the Redditor’s favor. As we also learn that the kids’ college is fully funded, it seems like this is not a financial question at all. 

While we don’t know the Redditor’s exact net worth, which makes the whole FIRE debate a bit of a question mark, there is, again, no argument about the financial side of things. 

Ultimately, this Redditor and his wife need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation to determine how they can both agree on moving forward. The last thing this Redditor wants to do is walk away from his work only to have his wife feel resentment that he made a life-altering decision without her being in full agreement. 

What’s The Best Scenario 

Assuming the Redditor doesn’t have the ability to go part-time in his role, there is always the idea of finding some kind of side gig work that could keep him busy and still bring in some income. However, unless the wife is fully on board with him walking away, the best scenario is likely to be continuing to work. 

As his travel interests don’t align with everyone else’s schedule, it’s not a very strong argument to make with his wife. The stay-at-home dad angle does have some strong reasoning behind it, but it doesn’t seem as if the family is struggling in this area either. 

The bottom line is that unless there is 100% alignment between them as a couple about what the next step should be, he might have to set aside his desire to walk away early. The best hope would then be to bring this issue up again in six months or a year and see if the wife has a change of heart.

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